Peter Wolf, MONTHLY MIND GAME:
Perception:   "...perceive the world or perceive yourself."
 

December is upon us, and so is the arrival of holidays, family and friends, and shopping malls.  Holiday elements are everywhere from the radio to television, catalogues and billboards, parties and even Spam and chain-letters via the internet.  So what do the holidays invoke in you?  Even the most festive of times can evoke elements of stress, obligation, loss, or place a spotlight on what we feel we do not have.  In the end "perception" is our barometer that outwardly expresses the way we view the world, and more importantly how we view ourselves.

There is no other time of the year so publically recognized that has an inner effect on us a much as the winter Holidays.  What other season is so focused on children?  And that is the very trigger that is set off in each and every one of us.  No matter what our childhood experience; we all have our own imbedded memories surrounding family, friends, and holidays.

The stir of emotions evoked by Christmas as adults is an evolution based on the life that we have created and chosen on most levels.  Whether positive or negative, these images are not only from the present, but from a pivotal time when we are the most sensitive to our surroundings.

Are you a person that loves the holidays and what it represents, or the opposite?

Its almost amazing how a time when we are bombarded with elements of family, presents, giving and kindness... we are also often bombarded with a sense of obligation, stress, even memories, and feelings that are attributed to varied programmed images and circumstances from our entire life. 

Although many of these elements are not something that we specify or breakdown in our minds, it never the less governs most of our feelings and actions through this time of year.  However, the lost image is this... our perceptions of these times are actually an external image of how we perceive ourselves.

More specifically if you feel a wonderful open sense of giving and happiness, free from stress and obligation, you may have had very open experiences of the holidays in your past.  On the other hand you may have rather created that experience for yourself due to the exact opposite occurring throughout your childhood.

To the contrary, if you have a feeling of obligation, stress, or even loss and inadequacy, your past experiences may have taught you a much less positive outlook of the season.

At any given time, our perceptions display our beliefs.  Beliefs however are what we are taught, based on our experiences.  This is little more than evidence that is open to our own interpretations.  There are few absolutes in life, one assurance we have is that to any given circumstance there will be an individual result within each of us.  Our thoughts and feelings govern our actions; our actions determine our results, and therefore the life that we currently maintain.

Perhaps the greatest irony of the holidays is that it openly asks us to observe our own beliefs on family, friends, love, and our own authenticity.  In doing so, that sense of "giving" takes on an entirely new "perspective."  It asks us to give to ourselves the same unconditional acceptance that we are asked to give to the rest of the world. 

For a moment, let's remove the obligation of ensuring we provide the appropriate sentiments to each individual on or off our Christmas list.  Rather let's apply that unconditional acceptance to us first, or at least at the same time.  The bottom line is that you cannot give what you do not have.  This is the very reason those who feel sporadically each day a sense of loneliness, or that there's just something missing in their lives, can vicariously feel peace and happiness.  However, it can also trigger an even greater feeling of loss.  Giving to ourselves either first, or as we give to others, is the hidden gift that lay within the holidays.  The gifts are far from what we wrap and unwrap, far from the bottom dollar sales, and far from the politically correct holiday expressions that are an illusion of acceptance.  The true gift is what we give and receive within ourselves, whether we experience it vicariously through others, or even if only in the image and sense of what the season displays.

The authenticity that we are asked to observe is your genuine outlook on such a global experience.  What is your "authentic" response to what this holiday season represents, and not the response you were taught to have.  What do you genuinely FEEL about giving and receiving without condition?  How do you feel about accepting yourself as openly as you're asked to accept those around you, and those that are less fortunate?

Perhaps the biggest paradox out there, is that there will always be the importance of the individual amid importance of us all.  Without you, then you cannot give to anyone, let alone those that you love.  The greatest gift during a time of love and giving, is also the gift of yourself.